


We breathe in the air of this small town

by Lostideas



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Cake, First Time, France AU, Friends to Lovers, M/M, anyway smut, call me by your name vibes, cause I ain't original, romance!, they're teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:02:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23617942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lostideas/pseuds/Lostideas
Summary: Luke and Calum's parents used to be really close until Luke's family moved to Europe for his father's work. Years later they re-connect in a holiday home in west France. Calum and Luke have both changed.
Relationships: Luke Hemmings/Calum Hood
Comments: 23
Kudos: 55





	1. revenir à étretat

When Luke wakes up his room is warm. He turns way from his window, kicks his covers lower and attempts to fall back asleep, but after a while he sighs and sits up. His alarm clock shows 7.30am, but when Luke climbs out of bed and pushes the thin fabric of his curtains out of the way, the sun is well up and shining bright. He opens his balcony doors and lets in the fresh air. He leans against the solid stone balcony railing and takes in the view; his own garden with a small pool, the high hedge, a long stretch of green and behind that, the blue ocean.

Almost six years ago now, Luke moved across the globe from Sydney to Berlin for his father’s job. He had been working for a huge international company for years, and when the opportunity for a job in the German headquarters arose, he simply took it. Luke was furious at first but adjusted with time. He learned German, went to an international school and got a job at a local café. After two years in Berlin, his parents bought a holiday home in Étretat, a town on the north coast of France known for striking rock formations carved out of its white cliffs. Since he was thirteen, Luke has been coming here for three weeks every summer.

Luke’s early rising in the beginning of these weeks is due to his biological clock that hasn’t gotten used to him not having to work the 6am shift at the café anymore. The house is quiet this early in the morning; Luke’s parents sleep in and his brothers both stopped joining the family holidays years ago. He considers calling Michael, a guy from England who’s parents own a house in a town over, but he laughs thinking about how there is no way the lazy boy is awake at this hour.

Luke throws on some sporty shorts and a t-shirt. Down in the kitchen the tiles are cold under his feet. He makes himself a bowl of cereal before heading into the garden, where two couches and a dining table are arranged under a covered patio. Further into the garden, the small oblong pool and to its right a couple of lounging chars with a parasol. Luke throws himself down on one of the couches, pulls his legs up and crosses them.

The Hood family is coming, his mum had told him yesterday. It was one of those moments when parents say, ‘remember? She used to hold you as a baby!’ as if Luke would suddenly remember everything about the woman who once lifted him as an infant. But his parents had been friends with them for years, and Luke vaguely remembers playing with their youngest kid, a boy named Calum. Luke had immediately googled the kid, but his Instagram was private and he didn’t seem to have much of an internet presence apart from that. But Luke was excited. The summers here had gotten steadily more boring as he got older; at seventeen now, long hikes with his parents wasn’t really on the top of his summer bucket-list. With someone his age here, it would surely get more interesting.

\---

Calum’s head hurts. He feels gross, sweaty and smelly and grumpy. It was yesterday morning when he left Sydney, and with a collective twenty two hours of flying and a three hour wait at Qatar airport, he is still not at his destination.

Why is Australia so fucking far from everything?

They landed on Charles de Gaulle airport an hour ago, and he has barely slept since he left his bedroom in Sydney 26 hours ago. Calum is terrified of planes, so sleeping during the long travel wasn’t really an option for him. The French airport was too big, too busy, the lights too bright. He tried to keep it together, following his parents through the maze of hallways. They even needed a shuttle bus to get all the way to the exit. When they step outside, the sun is shining bright but Calum couldn’t have told anyone what time it is. At least the temperature is pleasant, Calum thinks. It is full-on winter in Sydney right now and Calum has always hated the winter.

His father hauls them a taxi. He feels like a zombie as he helps his parents stuff the suitcases into the trunk. He takes the backseat with his mother while his dad gives the complicated address to the driver.

‘you should try to stay awake. Helps against the jetlag.’ His mum tells him, smiling sweetly.

‘yeah. I am just resting my eyes.’ Calum mumbles back. He pulls the hood of his hoody over his head and leans against the car door. It is another two hour drive to the small town from the airport, and as soon as they pull onto the highway, Calum falls asleep with his head against the window.

\---

Joy wakes him up. Calum groans and carefully stretches his sore neck. His mother pulls his hoodie down and Calum instinctively combs a hand through his hair.

‘look!’ His mother says softly, squeezing her son’s shoulder and pointing out the window. Calum turns his head and stares at the stretches of green and behind them a blue ocean. Calum has always loved the Australian nature; the deep red earth and enormous canyons, the picture-perfect beaches and mysterious rainforests, but there is something so unique about European nature. With the rock formations, it almost looks like the Great Ocean Road, but the stretches of farmland and hills are picturesque and calming.

‘beautiful.’ He says softly. Moments later they pull up at a Mediterranean style villa. Calum whistles at the soft white rock, balconies and dark wood flat roof.

‘goddamn.’ Calum mumbles. It earns him a slap on the arm from his mother.

‘don’t swear like that. Behave when you meet the Hemmings family, okay?’

‘yes mum.’ Calum says, laughing a bit. They step out of the car and he and the taxi driver pull out the suitcases. The front door of the house swings open and his mother runs to embrace a woman. She looks beautiful in a knee-length summer dress and low heels and Calum recognises her vaguely. He follows his father to the door and introduces himself, shaking hands and being a well-behaved representation for his parents.

‘nice to meet you, Mrs. Hemmings.’ He says as the woman shakes his hand. She laughs, pulls him in and kisses his cheeks three times.

‘call me Liz!’ she says. ‘Luke is really excited to see you again! You remember playing with him when you guys were kids? O my god, I cannot believe how you’ve grown. Such a man. How old are you now?’

‘eighteen.’ Calum answers a bit shy. He never really knows what to say when somebody tells him he’s grown. Like, of course. What did they expect? That’s kind of how aging works.

‘let me go get him. Luke?! LUKE!’

Liz turns around and walks into the house, her heels click-clacking on the tile floor. The rest of them pull their suitcases inside. When Calum stumbles into the living room, he is met with another vaguely familiar face.

‘hey.’ Luke says. His voice is soft, his stance shy. He is tall, Calum notices. Like, really tall. And skinny. And his eyes are ridiculously blue. He is wearing a t-shirt, his hair floppy and dirty-blonde, an empty bowl in his hand.

‘hey.’ Calum echoes. ‘nice to see you. Again.’

‘yeah.’ Luke says, a small smile on his face. Calum can’t help but smile too.

‘Lucas! O my god, look at you! You are all grown up!’ His mother storms at Luke, grabbing him and hugging him. Luke laughs, his nose wrinkling up. Calum can’t help but giggle at it.

‘nice to see you again, Mrs. Hood. How was your flight?’ Luke asks them politely. Suddenly, Calum becomes painfully aware of his baggy hoodie, the bags under his eyes and his messed-up hair.

‘oh, it was okay.’ Joy answers. Then she turn to him. ‘not for Calum though. He’s always so terrified!’ She leans over and screws up Calum’s hair even worse. ‘he needs a shower, too.’

‘thanks mum.’ Calum mumbles back. Liz laughs and gives Luke a little push into Calum’s direction.

‘why don’t you show your guest his room?’ she says. Luke nods, smiles a little and makes a follow-me gesture. He set’s down his bowl on the living room table as Calum picks up his suitcase and follows Luke out of the living room, up a flight of stairs. Upstairs, Luke points at a door at the end of a big hallway.

‘that’s my room.’ He says. As they walk in the opposite direction, he taps on a few more doors. ‘the shared bathroom, my dad’s work room, spare bedroom.’

Calum follows slowly and takes it all in. His own house in Sydney is modest; big enough but certainly nothing like this small palace. And this isn’t even Luke’s only house.  
The ceiling in the hallway is high and white, a rose pattern decorating it. The floor is heavy dark hardwood, making a strong contrast.

‘and yours.’ Luke says then, pushing open a door at the end of the hallway and walking in. The first thing Calum notices is the small balcony with a beautiful view of green farmland.

‘not even an ocean view?’ He jokes.

‘you’ll have to go to my room for that.’ Luke answers, laughing.

‘this place is amazing.’ Calum says, dumping his suitcase on his bed. Luke plops down next to it, bouncing a little.

‘it’s cool, yeah. A bit boring.’

‘I can imagine, if you’re alone.’ Calum answers. He pulls his hoodie over his head and kicks it under the bed, a grossed-out look on his face. Luke bursts out laughing.

‘hey, honestly, do you remember anything about me?’ He asks then. ‘cause all I can come up with is a vague memory of you running on a playground and busting your head open against an iron slide.’

‘dude!’ Calum pushes his hair up to reveal a small white line just under his hairline. ‘that was with you!’

They both burst out laughing.

‘I don’t really remember anything.’ Calum says then. ‘just like, vaguely, you. That we used to be friends.’

Luke nods.

‘we have to catch up on like, seven years.’ He says then. ‘I can’t remember any scars related to you but we might discover some stuff.’ Calum laughs and nods.

‘I need a shower first, though.’

‘yeah you do.’ Luke comments, pulling a grossed out face. Calum laughs again.

‘so where is my goddamn unsuited bathroom then?’ he shoots back.

‘again, you’d have to be in my room for that.’ Luke says, winking. Calum feels his face heat up a little and pulls up his eyebrows.

‘I have to shower in your room?’

Luke is laughing. ‘you wish!’ he says, standing up from the bed. ‘the shared bathroom is the third door on your left.’ He says before slipping out of Calum’s room.

Calum is left with a warm face he blames on carrying his suitcase up the stairs by himself.


	2. journées et nuits chaudes

Michael is ecstatic when Luke tells him he will be bringing someone new. He has always been very social and there aren’t many young people in this area during summer.

It is the next day and they head for the beach after a breakfast full of nodding and politely saying ‘oh, right, I remember’ as their parents reminisce about their times together in Sydney. It is exhausting and Luke is happy when he and Calum can finally slip out of the garden door.

Michael is waiting for them on the small gravel path behind the hedge of Luke’s house. He greets Luke with a bearhug and does the same for Calum.

‘nice to meet you man!’

‘nice to meet you too.’ Calum replies, smiling fondly at Michael. They start walking down the path towards LaFalaise d’Amont, a cliff lookout point with a long stairway down to a beach. Michael immediately throws out all information he has on Australia, complete with a terribly done accent.

‘G’day, mate! Let’s throw some shrimp on the barbie!’

‘Straya dag! My best mate’s a joey!’ Calum joins in. His accent is already thick when he speaks, but when he goes full-on it’s hysterical, and the three of them bounce off of each other and make jokes about Australia and England. It makes Luke like Calum even more. He doesn’t say too much, just enjoys the nature and his friends’ banter as they walk.

The sun is shining bright, burning on Luke’s skin a little when they descent down the stairs build up against the side of the cliff. The view is stunning, the white sand below looking inviting.

‘it’s gorgeous here.’ Calum breathes out as he takes a second to look around. Luke comes to stand next to him, Michael on the other side. ‘so you guys been coming here for ages then?’ Calum then asks.

‘since we were like thirteen.’ Michael answers. ‘Luke had the most slapable face back then. He had a fringe and everything. I hated him at first because his fringe was bigger than mine.’

‘Luke with a fringe? Tell me there’s pictures.’ Calum answers, laughing.

‘hey thanks Mike.’ Luke mumbles, laughing a bit. He _just_ met Calum, he doesn’t really need him to see embarrassing pictures of tween Luke already.

‘I bet it was adorable.’ Calum says then, a big smile on his face. Calum’s skin is sun-kissed and his dark hair is curly at the nape of his neck. It makes Luke want to reach out and touch it.

‘race you two fat fucks down!’ Michael then screams.

‘oh shit, gotta assert dominance in this new group!’ Calum says.

‘too late!’ Luke yells, pushing Calum aside and racing after Michael. He hears Calum let out a loud ‘hey!’ before following him suit. They run down, taking two, three steps at a time and sliding their hands over the railings next to them, ready to grab on if they trip. They make it all the way down, their feet pushing up heaps of sand as they sprint towards the sea, throwing off their t-shirts on the way. Seconds later Luke feels the icy cold water splash up against his shins. He runs after Michael, raises his arms and dives straight into a wave. When he comes up he wipes his hair back and hears Calum scream. He turns and sees the boy standing in the water up till his knees.

‘jesus fucking christ, shit fuck, why is it so fucking cold?!’

‘north sea, bitch!’ Michael screams back. He is close to Luke, jumping around in the water. ‘you’re not in Sydney anymore!’

Luke laughs as Calum takes a deep breath, signs a cross over his chest and dives in. He comes up just by Luke, shivering. Luke finds himself wanting to reach out and wipe the hairs off of his forehead, but Calum does it first. Luke is almost unable to stop staring at Calum’s wet dripping hair and his wide shoulders. He is only a year older than Luke, but he is build stronger. Where Luke is still lanky and sees his body as teenage-y, Calum has seemingly evolved into an actual _man._

Luke’s eyes come back up to Calum’s face to find him looking back. Their eye-contact is intense for a second before Michael comes up next to them and shake his hair out like a dog, making Calum cringe.

‘do you think if I throw a tennis ball far away Michael will go and try to fetch it?’ he jokes.

‘he _does_ have dog-like tendencies.’ Luke answers, giggling.

‘you are both twats.’ Michael answers, shaking his head.

After a few more minutes of splashing around and hold-your-breath contests, Calum gets too cold and they head back onto the beach. They retrieve their t-shirts and use them as blankets while they dry in the sun. Luke finds it hard not to stare at Calum through his eye-lashes as the older boy leans back on his elbows and soaks up the sun. Luke notices how Calum’s hair curls up from the salty water. He notices how cute it is.

‘I can get used to this.’ Calum mumbles, his head lazily hanging between his shoulders.

‘honestly, after twelve summers, it’s gets a bit old.’ Michael says. ‘a beach is just a beach after a while.’

‘so that’s why I’m here then, to resurrect your relationship with this town?’ Calum jokes.

‘and each other!’ Michael yells, tackling Luke into the sand. Luke bursts out laughing as he tries to push Michael off of him.

‘he hasn’t touched me in years!’ Michael continues.

‘damn, I am not sure I can help with that.’ Calum answers. When Luke looks up at him he sees a fond smile on Calum’s face.

\---

After dinner, Luke and Calum lazy around on the couches on the patio. Their parents are inside, playing some board-game they used to play together in the “good old days”. The sun is setting and Luke feels tired and satisfied. The air is getting pleasantly cooler. Luke enjoys Calum’s company; they’ve only been hanging out for about a day-and-a-half, but it’s so easy. Calum is relaxed and kind. He makes Luke feel at ease.

‘so what is life for you like in Berlin?’ Calum asks after a while of comfortable silence.

‘hmm, not super interesting. I go to an international high school, I work in a café.’

‘you speak German?’ Calum sits up, grinning.

‘of course.’ Luke answers, smiling back at him.

‘I think it sounds really angry.’

‘wieso würdest du so etwas sagen?’ Luke says, pulling up his eyebrows. Calum laughs.

‘what does that mean?’

‘it means; “why would you say something like that?”’

Calum laughs again. Luke notices the slight dimples now for the first time and it makes him smile.

‘I don’t know, I guess it doesn’t sound too angry when you do it. Can you say something else?’

‘Du bist ein wunderschöner schmetterling!’ Luke yells then, making sure to over-pronounce the rough growling sounds in every word. Calum bursts out laughing.

‘did you just tell me to go fuck myself or something?’ he says, grinning wide.

‘I told you that you are a beautiful butterfly!’ Luke answers, faking defensiveness. Calum is laughing again.

‘schmetterling.’ He tries, but Luke laughs and shakes his head.

‘no, you really have to growl like you’re angry. That’s how they do it!’

They spend a few more minutes trying to get Calum to pronounce German words. Then they chat about random things for a while before Calum taps out, tired from the long warm day.

\---

Luke wakes up. He blinks a few times and feels completely disorientated for a split second before he realises he is in his bed. Images from the dream he just head flow through his mind like soap bubbles; when he tries to focus on one, it pops and suddenly he doesn’t know what he’s thinking about anymore.

He sits up and takes a deep breath. His alarm clock says 4am. He is wide awake.

He pulls back his blanket and steps out of bed. The wooden floor feels cool under his feet. He walks into his ensuite bathroom and drinks some water. He goes to the toilet and walks back into his room. He is about to climb back into his bed when he hears a door closing in the hallway.

It might be Calum, shoots through his head.

He quickly walks to his own door and pulls it open.

Calum turns around in the hallway. Luke can barely make him out, but he knows it’s him. And for some reason he is very pleased with that. They are quiet for a second, before Calum’s voice breaks the silence.

‘hey. Couldn’t sleep?’

‘I just woke up. Had a weird dream.’ Luke answers, wiping the sleep out of his eyes. He is adjusting to the dark. Calum walks towards him quietly and leans against the wall, about a meter away from Luke. He is shirtless, only wearing a pair of boxers. Luke swallows hard and tries not to stare.

‘you?’ Luke asks softly.

‘jetlag.’ Calum says, shrugging.

‘ah.’

They’re quiet for a few seconds. Luke feels his heart beating heavy in his chest. He doesn’t understand why; especially, why now? Earlier today, on the couch, he was fine. And now Calum is making him nervous?

‘well I should…’ Calum begins just as Luke says ‘do you want to…’

They both stop at the same time and chuckle softly.

‘do you want to hang out for a bit?’ Luke asks then, quickly, before Calum can say whatever he wanted to say.

‘yeah, okay.’ Calum answers, smiling. He follows Luke into his room. A slight panic settles over the younger boy as he realises he has nothing to really do, or offer Calum, when the older boy points at his windows.

‘that nice sea view, huh?’ He says, grinning. Luke smiles and walks over to the curtains, pulling them aside. He opens the balcony doors and steps out onto the small stone balcony. Calum comes and fills the space next to him.

‘beautiful.’ Calum mumbles as he looks out. The moon is half-full and shining bright, creating a line of shimmering silver on the sea. There is a soft breeze, smelling of salt and summer.

‘wait a second.’ Calum says after a few moments of silence. He walks back into Luke’s room and then into the hallway. After about a minute he comes back. Luke notices he’s wearing a shirt now. He is relieved and disappointed at the same time.

‘I haven’t really asked you what kind of music you like. But I heard this earlier today and I wanted to ask you what you think.’

Luke smiles at the idea of Calum hearing a song and thinking about Luke. It makes him feel all kinds of special.

‘sure, let’s hear it.’ He says, trying to sound as casual as possible.

Calum hands him an earpiece and he takes it. They’re standing close, both trying to not pull each other’s earpiece out. Calum opens his Spotify and seconds later a soft, slow song comes on. The bass is apparent but casual, blends into the song perfectly. A soft female voice starts to sing and Luke immediately loves it.

‘you know this?’ Calum asks softly. Luke shakes his head.

‘but I really like it.’

A wide smile appears on Calum’s face. Suddenly, he starts moving. He starts with his arms, then slowly, his hips follow. Luke feels his face go red. Calum doesn’t seem to notice or doesn’t care. He vibes with the music, slow, sincerely. Luke can’t help but join in. They don’t even touch, just innocently move past each other. Calum moves his arms around almost like snakes, into the air, slowly twisting and turning. Luke giggles and follows, copying the movements.

Far too soon the song is over. Silence surrounds them again. Luke stares at Calum, who shamelessly stares back. The air in between them feels charged and it makes Luke what to do something, anything. He want to put his hands against Calum’s jaw line. Wants to stand a bit closer to him. And kiss him. Only kiss him. And for a second be believes Calum might be leaning in, too.  
But then,

‘so do you guys ever go out here?’

It feels like a spell being broken. Luke swallows heavily and all of a sudden feels silly for getting so caught up.

‘uhm, no, not really, I guess. There aren’t really clubs or anything. A few bars.’

‘I bet the three weeks here are pretty dry for you, huh? Didn’t see many girls around town today.’ Calum says. He sounds like he wants to joke around with Luke, but then his tone is a bit too serious for that. Luke sighs and mentally kicks himself again for thinking Calum might actually want something from him.

‘I mean, that’s not really my thing.’ He says then, shrugging. If Calum already has an idea, he might as well come out as soon as possible.

‘hook ups?’ Calum pushes.

‘girls.’

‘oh.’

Calum is quiet from a few minutes. Then; ‘I mean, that’s cool.’

‘thanks for the approval.’ Luke mumbles. He feels bitter all of a sudden; like life is playing a game with him. Self-pity settles in and he wishes Calum would just leave.

‘I wasn’t… I didn’t mean that.’ Calum says. Luke just shrugs. He’s getting cold and he can feel his eyes getting heavy again.

‘I should go to bed.’ He says then. Calum just nods. They move into Luke’s room again and it feels almost as if hours have passed since he invited Calum in. They say a quick goodbye and Calum slips out of his room.

\---

Calum lets out a heavy breath when he throws himself back onto his bed. It’s dark and warm in his room and his head is swimming with Luke, his face, his eyes, the way he started dancing with Calum, their awkward conversation.

Luke is gay.

And Calum handled it in the worst way possible, of course.

He groans and peels off his shirt, throwing it on the floor.

He’s had thoughts. He could’ve told Luke that. He could’ve told him that, a few years back, he had a crush on a guy. And he played it off as nothing, because he wasn’t ready, it was all too scary, and he was just not one hundred percent sure his parents would accept it, and it was all just too much at once. But Luke came strutting into his life and ripped that can of worms right open without even knowing it. And Calum let a perfect opportunity pass to tell him, too.

This friendship with Luke feels really good, Calum thinks. It had from the start. There is an easy-goingness to it all that gives Calum the feeling that he can be however he wants to be. But Calum is here to have a fun summer, not to do soul-searching and figure out his true self.

But he can’t stop thinking about the boy. It’s been a long time of forced interest into girls, trying his hardest to make it all work as it _should_. But now, he allows himself to think about Luke like that. About him shirtless in the water earlier today. About him stretched out under the sun. He could look like that stretched out under Calum, except he wouldn’t be so silent then.

Calum closes his eyes and sighs. He is rock hard in his boxers. His hand travels down and he starts slow, squeezing tight. He imagines Luke, innocent looking on his knees, or Luke, pushed up against the kitchen counter. Luke on top of him.

There is sweat on his forehead and Luke’s name on his tongue when he comes, as quiet as possible.


	3. tourner trop vite

Calum never talks to Luke about his confession on the balcony, but he makes a point out of being normal with him. It is a bit weird at first, he is not sure how to compose himself. But after three or so days, they settle back into their comfortable easy-going friendship.

The only thing that really changes, is Calum’s view of Luke. Ever since the first night he allowed himself to fantasise about the younger boy, it’s almost impossible to stop. All of a sudden, Luke is all plump lips, sexy curves and sweet smiles. Calum tries to not let it affect him, but sometimes, when they are washing dishes together or watching Netflix late at night after their parents have gone to sleep, the air in between them is charged and he finds himself fleeting to his room to keep from pinning Luke down.

Oh their first weekend in Étretat, they head to the town centre after dinner. It is eight pm but the sun is still shining bright, the air still hot and dry.

Michael walks ahead of them with his newly arrived friend. Ashton is a tall, curly guy a few years older than Calum. He lives near Michael back in England and they have been friends since childhood. He arrived a few days ago and has been hanging out with them. Calum really likes him; he is kind, calm and funny. Luke and Ashton seem to almost have a brotherly connection, and he had watched Luke off to the side talk about things with him multiple times in the past few days. It made him wonder what all those hushed conversations might be about, but he never had too much time to worry because Michael always got needy in those moments and talked Calum’s ears off.

They walk in silence for a while. Calum enjoys the beautiful nature around him, the narrow streets and beautiful stone houses on both sides. Little specialty shop with colourful facades start popping up as they come closer to the centre. On his right he can see the beach through the buildings.

‘you ever thought about going back to Australia?’ he asks Luke then. The younger boy looks up at him, running a hand though his hair. Calum could picture Luke on the beach in Marourbra, close to where he lives, a surfboard under his arm and sun-kissed skin.

‘I really want to, yeah.’ Luke answers. ‘I can’t right now, it’s all too buys with school. But I want to take a gap year after graduation and go travelling for a while. I’d love to come down under then.’

‘you could stay with me.’ Calum says. Luke looks over and gives him a sweet smile.

‘that would be awesome.’

‘so Calum!’ Michael suddenly appears next to him, swinging an arm around his shoulders. ‘Luke told me you’ve been wondering about how we party down here.’

Calum looks over at Luke and for a split second they share a nervous look, Calum wondering if he told his friends about their conversation, and if so, what version of it.

‘well.’ Michael continues before he can answer. ‘there isn’t much. But what we do have, is that.’

He points ahead, and of the very end of the street they’re walking down, Calum can see an old, traditional building with a stone roof and simple beige walls. The dark brown letters on the façade say “casino”. Calum has to laugh a bit at how cute the building looks, compared to the flashy glass-and-metal buildings he usually associates with a casino.

‘looks fun.’ He says, grinning. Calum isn’t much of a drinker, but he definitely likes the prospects of a beer or two, especially since they are about twenty times cheaper here in Europe.

They enter though the revolving doors, thick dark red carpet under their feet. The space is small and dimly lit, just one large room, but it looks like any old casino. Slot machines are lined up on the right of them, blackjack and roulette tables at the centre and a bar on the other side of the room. It is quite busy, people buzzing around the tables.

‘what do you guys usually play?’ Calum asks.

‘only Michael really plays.’ Ashton answers. ‘we come here because he is in love with Eloise, she works behind the bar.’

‘bullshit!’ Michael exclaims, shoving Ashton. ‘we come here to get rich.’

Ashton laughs and follows Michael to one of the blackjack tables.

‘wanna get a drink?’ Calum asks Luke. He nods and they make their way to the bar. Behind it, two girls are chatting. As soon as they spot Luke they start smiling and waving.

‘bonjour Lucas!’ one of the girls calls out. ‘I see it’s that time of the year again that you are here!’

‘bonjour Eloise.’ Luke smiles shyly at her. ‘this is Calum, a childhood friend.’

‘nice to meet you.’ Calum says, reaching out his hand. Eloise giggles, pushes herself up on the bar and leans over to press three kisses on Calum’s cheeks. He laughs and blushes a bit as she pulls back. Eloise is beautiful; brown curly hair tied up in a long ponytail, her face covered in freckles. Her big brown eyes are making him think of Bambi.

‘nice to meet you too Calum.’ She answers, smiling brightly. Her accent is thick and her smile genuine. Calum likes her straight away. ‘where are the English boys?’ she asks then.

‘Ash and Mike are over at the blackjack table.’ Luke answers. ‘Mike’s feeling lucky tonight.’

Eloise laughs and shakes her head. ‘oh Michael.’ She says. Then; ‘what can I make for you tonight?’

‘I’d like a moscow mule.’ Luke answers. ‘Cal?’

‘just a beer.’

Eloise and Luke make small talk about their parents and studies as she makes their drinks. Calum pays, and they walk back to Ashton and Michael.

‘she’s really sweet, I like her.’ Calum says.

‘yeah.’ Luke mumbles. ‘she’s hot too, I guess.’

Calum is silent for a second. Then; ‘not really my type.’

Luke looks at him, eyebrows raised and cheeks pink.

‘no?’

‘nah.’ Calum can hardly look at Luke, but he feels somewhat relieved. Ever since their conversation on the balcony he’s been wanting to say something, even just something innocent, to show that he’s not weirded out by Luke being gay, that maybe he can even relate.

But they are already at Michael’s table. Calum doesn’t understand a single thing about blackjack, but Luke seems to be really into it. He sits down next to Michael, leans his head on the boy’s shoulder. Michael is frowning deeply and looks focussed. The other people at the table are all old men wearing the same expression.

Calum is standing on the other side of the table with Ashton. He leans in and whispers; ‘is he winning?’.

‘I don’t know how this game works.’ Ashton answers, giggling. ‘I was just being eye-candy, but Luke has got that down now. Wanna hit the slot machines? Colours and lights are amongst things I can comprehend.’

Calum laughs too and they break off to the slot machines.

\---

About two hours later, Michaels entire monthly allowance is pretty much gone. Ashton and Calum just spend some coins on the slot machines, but the boy lost hard on the blackjack table. Luke is timid and quiet as Michael groans and angrily leaves the table. Calum has had a couple more beers and feels pretty humoured by the whole situation. As they walk out of the casino, he warps his arm around Luke’s shoulders, who looks up at him so surprised he almost feels bad.

Outside, it is dark but the air is still warm. Calum is about to ask what the plan is, when a door on the side of the casino opens and the girls from behind the bar come out. They’re talking rapidly in French until Eloise turns and sees Michael sulk on the sidewalk.

‘boys!’ She waves and comes towards them. Her uniform is replaced with a sundress and her curls are hanging over her shoulders. Michael immediately composes himself and blushes. Calum can’t help but giggle at how his entire demeanour changes when the girl walks up.

‘I just finished! I was about to got to Alex! He’s throwing a party. Do you guys want to come?’

‘yes!’ Michael answers before anyone else can. ‘yeah, sounds cool. We’ll be there.’

‘bien.’ Eloise smiles brightly and walks back to her friend.

‘well, you heard it guys.’ Ashton says, laughing. ‘I guess the night continues.’

‘we can go by mine and grab the car.’ Michael says, a determined look on his face. ‘tonight is the night.’

‘part seven, the summer it doesn’t happen either.’ Ashton adds, laughing as Michael pushes him onto the street.

\---

They end up in Fécamp, a town over. Alexandre lives in a large beachfront house with his own little strip of beach. Calum doesn’t even meet the guy, with how busy the house is. But he saw Eloise in the kitchen, and the five of them end up chatting for a while. All of them have more drinks, and after a while Calum is pleasantly buzzing. He notices Luke, who is standing off to the side sipping from his solo cup and peering into the living room where people are dancing. Calum excuses himself from the conversation to slide over to the blonde.

‘wanna dance?’ he asks, a bit dizzy. Luke sets down his empty cup and nods enthusiastically. The smile on his face is soft and his eyes are half closed. Calum grind and grabs his hand.

They head for the makeshift dancefloor in the middle of the living room. They squeeze themselves into the herd of people dancing. Luke is right by him, dancing with him like they did on the balcony, a little timid in the beginning but slowly more abundant with a boozy grin on his face. His cheeks are pink and he looks happier than Calum has ever seen him. It is infectious. Calum feels brave, reaches out for Luke. His hand on the boys hip. Luke looks up at him, questioning, almost hopeful. In return he places a hand on Calum’s shoulder. They get closer. Both hands on each other now. The song playing is quite fast-pace still, but Calum somehow manages to move with Luke. They’re both grinning, close, sweating and holding onto each other. The air between them is electric and Luke looks absolutely stunning like this. Calum spots a bead of sweat running down from his ear to his shoulder and doesn’t think about it when he leans in and licks it. He hears the gasp out of Luke and feels his body lean into him completely for a second. Then, sturdy hands on his chest, pushing him backwards. Calum lets go and is met with Luke’s eyes, huge with shock. Then, the blonde turns and pushes his way through the people towards the backdoor of the house.

‘Luke!’ Calum shouts after him over the music. He follows the boy’s path outside where is cooler and quiet, chasing after him as he runs onto the beach, clumsily turning around to face Calum and tripping so he lands on his bum in the sand.

‘you can’t just do that!’ he slurs, way too loud. He looks so panicked and Calum feels terrible. He feels the world turning and needs to sit down, too. The sand feels cool on his legs.

‘I’m sorry.’ He says.

‘especially after what I’ve told you!’ Luke continues. ‘what do you want, Calum?!’

‘I don’t know.’ Calum mumbles, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes.

‘because you are like, really great. You are such a friend.’ Calum hears the crack in his voice and hopes Luke won’t start crying. The blonde is hugging himself and somewhere Calum can register that all of this is getting so out of hand because they are both drunk, but in the moment it feels as though the world is ending all because of him.

‘Luke I am so sorry.’ He slurs.

‘Calum if you are gay you can just say so yeah?’ Luke says then. Calum aggressively shakes his head.

‘I _can’t_ , Luke.’

‘why?!’ Luke presses.

‘because it changes everything! Don’t you get that? If I say that, nothing will be the same again.’

And Luke wants to say more, but they are interrupted.

‘what the…’

Calum turns and sees Ashton standing behind him, eyebrows raised. He is quiet for a few seconds before shaking his head.

‘time to go home, I think.’

\---

It’s late when Calum and Luke stumble into the house. The car ride home sobered Calum up a bit, but he is still unsteady on his feet. Luke doesn’t say anything as they climb the stairs and head in opposite directions.

‘Luke.’ Calum mumbles.

‘no, I can’t.’ Luke just says back. ‘too tired.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Calum repeats.

‘it’s fine.’ Luke says, pulling open the door to his bedroom.

‘can you… can you not tell anyone?’ Calum mumbles. Luke turns around and gives him a hurt look.

‘I won’t.’ he says before disappearing into his bedroom.


	4. vous y trouver

On Sunday, Calum barely makes it out of bed, his head pounding and his stomach angry as ever. That’s how he manages to avoid Luke and through that also a possible confrontation. Calum wasn’t exactly black-out drunk, and neither was Luke, so he’s sure every word is ringing in the blonde’s mind like it’s in Calum’s.

After that first week, they go camping. They pack tents, food and clothes and drive two hours to Parc Naturel Régional et Géoparc Normandie-Maine. They take separate cars, and so he doesn’t see Luke until they step out of their cars, into the morning sun. The parking lot at the beginning of the trail is near empty, the air is still a bit cool. Calum looks over the roof of their taxi and locks eyes with Luke, who is leaning against the side of his dad’s SUV. And Calum actually sighs. Deeply. At how good Luke looks, how all of this is ridiculous, at how he’s scared of it all, at the tension. He walks over to Luke.

‘I’m sorry.’ He says, quietly. Their parents are buzzing around them, unpacking.

‘it’s okay, honestly.’ Luke says. ‘I get like that when I drink. Kind of dramatic.’

‘no I mean, you had reasons to be.’ Calum mumbles.

‘we can’t… we shouldn’t get hung up on the stupid shit we do when we drink.’ Luke answers, shrugging. ‘I was a dead man yesterday.’

‘me too.’ Calum says, laughing. Luke smiles at him, and just like that, it seems normal again. They grab their backpacks, hoist them up on their backs and follow their parents down the beginning of a two-day trail.

The nature is beautiful, and Calum feels in his element walking through the bushes. He is surrounded by high trees, and to the right of him a small stream. Luke is right in front of him. They pass small stone bridges, fallen tree trunks and high oak trees. The landscape constantly changes, from deep green pine trees to half bare birch trees. They walk and walk and walk, one foot in front of the other without much thinking or talking.

\---

It’s late afternoon when they arrive at their camping spot for the night. Luke had done this trail before and recognised the clearing they had selected years ago for it’s flat ground and easy access to the nearby creek.

They dump their backpacks on the ground and he calls Calum over to help him start setting up the tents. They joke around and push each other and trip over the tent poles. Luke feels happy and light. It’s easy to forget all about his embarrassing little melt-down on the beach when they are joking around like this. Calum actually knows what he’s doing too, and within no time three tents are up.

Luke and Calum get send to find wood for the campfire. Their parents set up the gas canister for cooking and get started while the boys stomp through the trees. They pass the creek, where Calum playfully splashes Luke, resulting in an intense water fight. It all goes by in a daze for Luke; laughing, splashing, walking around and picking up suitable firewood.

Before he knows it, he’s sitting on a small log of wood, hip-to-hip with Calum, plastic plate on his lap, eating pasta pesto with canned tomatoes and walnuts.

‘this is really great mum.’ Calum says sweetly. His mother just laughs and elbows him playfully.

‘thank you, darling. It’s campsite haute cuisine.’

‘I could honestly eat pasta every day of my life.’ Luke says with his mouth half full. Calum giggles and reaches out to wipe the pesto grease off Luke’s chin. He can’t help but blush.

When the sun starts setting, Calum and Luke start the campfire. They take dry grass and small sticks and Calum fetches a lighter. After a while, the fire is comfortably flickering. They build and build until the sun is completely down. They sit by the fire and chat for a while, all of them, before their parents check out and it’s just Calum and Luke on the small log.

They sit in comfortable silence for a while. The fire is warm and so is Calum next to him, still pressed to his side despite the more room they’ve got now. Luke loves looking at the fire; the flames form all these different patterns and it’s infatuating.

Then, Luke pulls out his phone and breaks the silence.

‘this song I’ve liked for a while came on shuffle yesterday when I was dying in bed – hey, don’t laugh, you were just as bad – I thought you might like it. It’s by a Dutch band.’

‘you know a lot of European music?’ Calum asks as Luke plugs his earphones into his phone.

‘yeah, I really like most of it. A lot of cool small bands. Also, German rap is pretty cool.’

Calum laughs at that. He takes one of the earphones Luke hands him and Luke starts the song. Soft guitar chords fill his ears.

_‘can’t sleep, cause everything’s changing, you don’t want to leave things behind…’_

‘this is beautiful.’ Calum says softly after listening for a while. ‘I love her voice. I love when she sings “I’ll get you through the night”.’

Luke just smiles. They sit in silence, comfortable by the warmth of the fire, and Luke finds himself laying his head on Calum’s shoulder. He can smell the brunette and it’s so pleasant he thinks he could fall asleep like this. Luke breathes out heavily when Calum places his hand on Luke’s upper leg, holding him carefully.

‘Luke…’ Calum says softly but urgently.

‘I know.’ Luke just whispers back. He turns his head and looks up because he is expecting it.

Calum’s lips find his. Luke can’t help but gasp a little still. At first it’s just a small peck, but Luke immediately chases it, and soon they are properly kissing. Luke loves everything about it; Calum’s plum lips, the experimental slide of their tongues, how Calum tastes of pesto and how their kisses sound.

Calum squeezes his leg, and Luke remembers he has hands. He brings one to Calum’s neck, combing through his soft curls and playing with the small hears at the nape of his neck. Luke doesn’t know how long they sit like that, but he knows he has never kissed someone like this. Never someone like Calum.

When they break away, Calum leans his forehead against Luke’s.

‘I’m sorry about being weird about this. Or if I gave you the wrong idea. It’s just new.’

Luke just nods and strokes Calum’s cheek with his thumb.

‘it’s very… I don’t really know any of this, you know. I haven’t really done any of this before. With anyone. I’m… I’m also kinda a virgin.’

‘me too.’ Luke answers, giggling. ‘it’s okay Cal, it’s chill. It feels good to kiss you. We can figure it out. We don’t really need to change anything. Just do what feels right. We can take it slow.’

Deep in Luke’s chest, a nagging little feeling starts to settle, telling him that they really can’t take it slow. That Calum will go back home soon. That soon is two weeks. That home is literally on the other side of the planet.

Luke pushes it away when Calum answers with ‘I’d like that a lot.’

‘Let’s put this fire out, we’ve got a long day of walking again tomorrow.’ Luke says then, smiling up at Calum.

\---

Calum doesn’t really understand that he never stood a chance until he’s lying in their tent, their faces illuminated by the harsh white light of his flashlight.

Not for a second did he stand a chance against his feelings for Luke. The way he’s drawn to him wasn’t normal friendship, not for a second. It only took a week to for him to fall for the blonde and now he can’t help but look at him with so much damn fondness.

They quietly strip down to their underwear and crawl under the zipped-open sleeping bag. The airbed is wobbly and they giggle as they try to find a comfortable position. Calum feels nervous and is a little bit surprised by how easy-going Luke is, how much _calm_ the younger boy radiates. Calum lets himself relax into it, let’s Luke take the lead. After a minute of fumbling, Luke switches off the flashlight. It’s so dark Calum can’t even make out the blonde’s face, but Luke’s moves into him and soon enough the blonde’s lips find his. They kiss, just like they did by the fire, except Calum’s heart is racing ten times faster because Luke’s bare chest is now pressed against his, both of them laying on their sides.

It’s one thing to fantasise about these things, Calum thinks. The real deal makes him much more nervous than he thought.

Luke let’s out all these short breaths and soft moans and Calum is getting hard embarrassingly fast. Luke’s hand travels down from his chest to his side, his fingers touching the fabric of Calum’s boxers. Their kiss is getting more heated, messier. Calum’s hand is combing through Luke’s hair absentmindedly. It’s not until Luke’s fingers start to slide under the elastic of his boxers that he stops the boy.

‘Luke…’ Calum breathes out, his free hand now on Luke’s wrist, slowly pulling the hand back up. Calum finds the younger boy’s fingers in the dark and kisses them.

‘it’s… it’s all a lot.’ He says softly. He feels like such a dumbass, such a stupid prude. But his head is already dizzy with the kiss and he knows it’ll all hit him harder in the morning, that it’ll be easy to just go with it now, in the moment in this dark tent. Calum knows he can swim, he just isn’t really ready for the deep end yet.

‘of course, it’s okay.’ Luke whispers back, and it soothes Calum’s thoughts. He rolls onto his back and extends his arm for Luke.

Calum’s face feels hot and he swallows heavily when Luke shifts to lay on his chest, his hard-on pressing against his thigh. Luke lets out a heavy breath, a soft groan.

‘you’re really hot.’ He whispers.

‘you too.’ Calum replies instantly.

Luke strokes his chest with his thumb. ‘goodnight, Cal.’

‘goodnight baby.’ Calum says it before he realises, but he feels Luke smile against his chest.

And he feels like he might never fall asleep, like his heart will keep racing with adrenaline until sunrise, but the long walk of the day and all the tension took their toll and within minutes he is fast asleep anyway.

\---

When Calum wakes up he feels hot all over. The sun is already up and their little tent has become somewhat of an oven. He throws the sleeping bag off of himself, waking Luke in the process, who is curled up right next to Calum, his back to him. He groans softly and sits up, turning to Calum bare-chested and his hair all messed up, making the brunette giggle.

‘good morning.’ Luke rasps, smiling. His morning voice is so sexy, Calum can’t help but lean forward and kiss him. Luke kisses back for a second before laying a hand on Calum’s chest and pushing him back gently.

‘do you… your parents?’ Luke says quietly, his confidence of last night faltering a bit in the daylight. He looks unsure and it makes Calum nervous too. Outside of the tent they can hear their parents chatting.

‘uhm, I guess we won’t tell them. Yet.’

Luke nods and gives him a sweet smile and a peck on his cheek.

They get dressed and step outside of their tent, their parents crouched over the gas burner frying eggs. They eat breakfast quietly and take the next hour to wash a bit in the creek and slowly pack up all their stuff.

The whole walk back, Calum’s head is in the clouds. He barely registers any questions asked to him. All he really can think about is the kiss, how close they were to each other last night. Luke his walking right by him, smiling that same dopey smile. Every once in a while, they make eye-contact and smile sweetly, until one of them snorts at the cringyness of it all and shoves the other. Calum isn’t even really worried about their parents catching onto their weird mood. He almost wants to tell them here and now, so that Luke and him can walk the rest of this hike hand-in-hand.

Calum can’t help but laugh at himself a little. He wasn’t sure what it was like, having a crush on someone who likes you back, but he surely wasn’t expecting himself to act like a giddy teenage girl.

The sun shines bright and the day swings by with every step. Before Calum realises it, they can see the parking lot in the distance. He feels a bit heavy getting into the car, almost as if he’s leaving something behind.

But when they pull up into the driveway of the Mediterranean villa, and Calum steps out of the car, he sees Luke look at him from over the roof of his.

The rest of the day gets spend lazying around in the backyard, hopping in and out of the pool and helping their mums make dinner.

Later that night, when everybody is already asleep from the long day, a sleepy Calum sneaks into Luke’s bedroom.


	5. la ville de l'amour

A few days later, at the end of Calum’s second week in France, Luke finds himself lazying on the couch with the older boy. It’s late; almost 1am. Calum is lying on his chest, Luke’s legs spread on either side of his torso. Calum is still extremely hesitant to show any kind of body language indicating his affection towards Luke in front of their parents, but as soon as they said their goodnights the boy came crawling up Luke’s body.

They’re watching some moody French movie, but Luke isn’t really watching anymore. His head is lulling back on the armrest behind him, Calum’s weight heavy and warm on top of him.

‘how is it still this hot.’ He mumbles into the air. He hears Calum hum.

‘sorry, do you want me to leave the room?’

Luke grins and looks down at the boy. Calum laughs and pokes at Luke’s double chin, resulting in Luke giggling too.

‘do you want to go cool down then?’ Luke asks. Calum, his head resting on his hands, big brown eyes staring up at Luke, just nods.

Which is how they end up walking hand-in-hand down the small gravel path leading to the lookout. They snuck out of the house quietly, giggling as they made their way through the dark garden and Calum did a rollover pretending to be James Bond. Out on the path, Calum had grabbed Luke’s hand, and Luke had held hands with people before but it had always felt a bit superficial, always a bit forced. With Calum everything feels natural.

They don’t talk much as they make their way down the stairs on the side of the cliff. It’s pitch-black and quiet. A soft breeze cools Luke’s skin, but it’s still warm. The beach is deserted, the sand cool.

The ocean looks completely black, the moon making a bright shimmering path through the middle. Calum starts to undress, throwing his t-shirt and shorts down in the sand. He winks at Luke as he pulls his boxers down, too.

Luke can feel his face heat up. For the past two days Calum had snuck into his bedroom, but the boy had still been a bit reserved, a bit anxious. They spend their time kissing and had gotten off rubbing against each other, but not more than that. Now though, it seems Calum has re-earned some of his confidence.

And so it’s the first time he’s seeing Calum fully naked and he can’t help but stare the boy up and down. Calum is lean, skinny but athletic looking. His muscles are more defined than Luke, which he blames on the slight age difference. He is beautifully tan and Luke can’t help but look down further where short dark hairs are gathered.

Luke undresses too, slowly. Calum standing close gives him confidence and soon they’re both butt-naked. Calum comes closer and places his hands on Luke’s chest. Luke swallows heavily but the tension of the moment is broken when Calum shoves him.

‘race you!’ he yells before charging at the sea. Luke laughs and lets out a battle cry before running after the brunette. They dive into the icy cold sea, splashing and screaming at each other. Eventually they calm down a bit, and Calum waves for Luke to come over. The boy goes slowly, melting into Calum as the brunette pulls him into a warm hug, up to their waste in the salty water.

They start to kiss. Calum’s lips taste salty and his hands are warm on Luke’s lower back. Luke’s heart rate speeds up and he can feel all of Calum now, their dicks pushed together in the space between their stomachs. And when did they both get so hard?

Luke let’s out a strangled moan when Calum grabs onto him. His hand is cold but the motion is good, feels amazing. Calum pushes his tongue into the younger boy’s mouth and Luke lets him, combing his hands through Calum’s wet curls.

Luke moves his hips into Calum’s motions for a while, foreheads resting together, heavy breaths getting pulled out of Luke. The blonde tries to push myself even closer to Calum, a moan slipping from his lips. Then Calum pulls away.

‘let’s get out of the water.’ He mumbles and Luke just nods, would’ve agreed to any statement coming out of the boys mouth at that point. Luke grabs his hand and follows the older boy back onto the sand. They walk up to the cliff where Calum carefully pushes Luke against the stone. Their hands stay intertwined when the brunette lowers onto his knees.  
‘Calum.’ Luke chokes out. He wants to say much more, but his heart is pounding and he can’t find the words.

‘you are so beautiful.’ Calum mumbles against one of his thighs. The boy is leaving kisses and licks the skin there, a whine falling out Luke’s mouth. ‘been thinking about sucking you off for days.’

Luke can’t believe his luck, can’t really believe three weeks ago he had no idea of this boy’s existence, and now he’s about to give him his first blowjob, in a public place.

‘me too.’ He confesses, earning a giggle out of Calum.

‘of course you have.’ He says softly.

Little droplets of sea water are falling from Luke’s hair onto Calum’s face as he looks down to watch the brunette lick a strip from the base of his dick up to the tip. Luke whines, one hand still holding onto Calum’s and the other on the boy’s jaw, stroking Calum’s cheek with his thumb.

Calum grabs onto him with his free hand starts stroking slowly.

‘I haven’t done this before.’ He says softly. ‘tell me what feels good, yeah?’

Luke just nods because he doesn’t trust his voice. Calum’s mouth is deliciously warm when he wraps it around the tip. He drops Luke’s hand in order to stroke him in time with his head bobbing. He starts off slow, his tongue dragging over the underside of Luke’s dick, his mouth warm and sucking tight around him. Luke’s hand glides into the brunette’s wet curls, holding on softly. Calum sucks harshly as he pulls back, resulting in Luke moaning loudly and pushing his hips forwards.

‘sorry.’ He chokes out as Calum goes down again, humming. His hands grab the back of Luke’s thighs and the younger by gets it, moves his hips deliberately now. He holds Calum loosely by his curls, staring down as his dick glides in and our of the older boy’s mouth. Calum’s eyes are glued to Luke’s, just sitting back and taking it, and yeah, Luke won’t last.

‘f-fuck.’ He chokes out. ‘Cal, m’gonna come.’

Calum pulls off and nods, grabbing onto Luke again and pumping fast. Luke head falls back against the stone wall behind him.

‘want you to, babe.’ Calum says, his voice raspy.

‘ah! Fuck, Cal… please…’

It only takes about a minute before Luke comes with a whine, his legs shaking with the force of it. Seconds later he looks down at Calum, sitting on his heels in the sand, Luke’s come dripping down his chest. Luke loosens the tight grip he didn’t realise he was keeping on the brunette’s curls. Calum is grinning cheekily.

‘okay?’ He just asks.

‘so good. O my god. Kiss me.’ Luke slurs. He pulls Calum up, kissing him passionately. They hug and Luke feels Calum’s hard-on against his thigh. He wants to reach down, but Calum stops him.

‘later.’ He mumbles, kissing Luke’s shoulder. ‘I’m freezing. Also got sand on my balls.’

Luke can’t help but snort at that.

Calum goes to clean up in the sea. They retrieve their clothes and put them on, shivering now from their wet hair and the wind that picked up a little. Luke holds Calum’s hand tightly the whole way back. They sneak back into the house, careful to be as quiet as they can. Calum follows Luke into his ensuite bathroom, peeling his wet clothes off of himself.  
Luke leans against the sink, naked and content, as Calum goes to turn on the shower. The boy turns to him and grins.

‘tell a guy he’s good looking once and before you know he’s got a big head.’

‘I might just leave you for an A&F model.’ Luke shoots back, cocking his head to the side and smiling.

‘good luck finding one that can suck dick as well as I can.’

‘suck a guys dick once and before you know he’s got a big head!’ Luke laughs. Calum grins and goes to kiss Luke. They stand like that for a while, sharing soft kisses, Luke’s hands roaming over Calum’s back.

‘I really like you.’ Luke sighs softly after Calum pulls back. The older boy smiles at him.

‘I like you too.’

They take a warm shower together. They are pressed together the whole time, kissing hungrily, and Calum tries to contain his moans by biting Luke’s shoulder when the blonde reaches in-between them and jacks him off.

\---

‘I was thinking we could go to Paris.’ Luke’s dad says at breakfast the next morning. Calum’s mum is immediately ecstatic, listing the things she would want to see. Luke is smiling at Calum in-between spoonsful of cereal.

‘it would be such a lovely end to our trip.’ Calum’s dad then says. And Calum actually has to watch Luke’s face drop at that. The brunette reaches out under the table and touches Luke’s foot with his, earning the younger boy’s attention. He looks up and Calum smiles an encouraging smile.

‘you’ve been before, right?’ He says. ‘bet you could show me some cool places.’

And Luke smiles carefully at that.

‘yeah, if we get some time to ourselves.’ He says jokingly.

‘right, because we’ve been really demanding in the past two weeks.’ Luke’s mum jokes. ‘no boys, of course. If you want to go out and do your own thing, that’s fine with us.’  
Calum feels Luke’s foot rubbing back and beams when he sees the blonde smile at the thought of him and Calum alone in Paris.

The next day they pack their bags for a three-day trip. Luke and Calum buddy up with Luke’s dad in his SUV, Luke’s mum is riding with Calum’s parents. It’s a two-and-a-half hour drive to the city and Luke’s dad insists on taking the boys through a history lesson of rock music and two McDrive’s before they arrive in Paris.

‘driving in Paris is one of the most dangerous things in the world.’ Luke’s father mumbles.

They zig-zag through narrow streets, tall stone houses with small balconies on either side of them. Calum can’t keep his eyes off the beauty of the city, especially when they practically drive past the Eiffel tower.

‘it’s huge.’ He mumbles. ‘I thought it would be smaller.’

Luke let’s out a childish snort at that, earning an elbow between his ribs from Calum.  
They pull up at the Shangri-La hotel just off of the Jardins du Trocadéro, and Luke’s father hands the keys to the valet boy. The stone façade of the building is breath-taking and build completely in the style of the city. Bellboys are taking their bags out of the trunk of the car and Calum sees Luke throw them an almost apologetic smile.

Quietly he follows the Hemmings’ men into the lobby of the hotel, which is all high ceilings, shiny marble floor and bouquets of roses perked up on small tables that look like they’re worth more than Calum’s whole house.

He and Luke stand off to the side as Luke’s parents walk over to the check-in desk.

‘I guess I had an idea of your father’s wealth but like… are you guys absolutely loaded?’ He mumbles softly. ‘do I need to lock you down so I can marry into this business?’

Luke chuckles. ‘I mean, this is a treat.’ He says. ‘this is not normal for us. I think my dad really wanted you guys to have an unforgettable time. But yeah, I guess the business he works for is pretty successful.’ Then Calum get’s shoved playfully. ‘also, I can’t believe you only like me for my inheritance.’

‘we’ll have mouths to feed, Luke! I gotta think about that.’ Calum laughs, shoving Luke back. He doesn’t really understand the weight of his words until he sees the blonde blush deeply, and it shuts him up. Luckily, Luke’s parent’s are back with the room keys.

‘Luke and Calum.’ He says, handing them a key-card with a number on it. ‘you guys are across the hall from us.’

And so they make their way to the elevator as Calum marvels at the chandeliers and paintings surrounding him.

It’s early in the afternoon when they step into their room. It’s reasonably modest and Calum likes it. There are two king-size beds, a bathroom with a big shower and bath-tub and they have their own small balcony. Their room faces away from the Eiffel tower but Calum doesn’t mind; their view on the small streets and parks of Paris is just as romantic.  
Luke closes the door behind them and throws himself down on one of the beds.

‘which one do you want?’ he jokes, and Calum grins as he climbs onto the bed, crawling over Luke until he covers the blonde’s body with his own. Luke smiles back at him and they kiss, slow and sweet. Calum never realises how much he misses kissing Luke until he’s doing it again.

‘what do you want to see today?’ Luke asks as Calum rolls off of him onto his back.

‘maybe the Eiffel tower? I really wanna go up. Also, can we go out tonight?’

‘yeah, I’d love to.’ Luke answers, smiling.

\---

The Eiffel tower climb was a bit shaky for Luke. They took the stairs most of the way up because Luke’s mum decided that if you want to say you’ve “climbed” the Eiffel tower, you must actually climb it. Luke was never a fan of spiral staircases, finding them claustrophobic, and the industrial steps with tiny holes in them didn’t really help his nerves. But Calum was by his side the whole time and made it fun, especially when his mum yelled at him for holing his phone through the gaps in the fence surrounding the highest platform to film down. They took cute pictures together on the highest platform, a beautiful blue sky behind them and a cute smile on Calum’s face.

Currently Luke is looking at the real deal; Calum in front of him looking delicious dressed in tight plaid trousers and a black Guns’N’Roses t-shirt. They’re walking down Rue des Archives, a street submerged in rainbows; there’s rainbow flags on the façade of buildings, rainbow garlands strung from tree to tree.

‘I guess we’re in the right place.’ Calum says, giggling.

‘I think I picked a pretty classy bar. If it’s too much we can leave.’ Luke says softly. He’s been in a few gay bars before, and he knows some of them can be pretty intense. Calum nods, looking cheerful as he grabs Luke’s hand.

‘I’m excited to see.’ He says.

They enter COX. The club is all bright red walls, industrial lamps hanging from the ceiling. The bar is on the other side of the room, manned by four heavily tattooed men. Calum and Luke do shots and buy cocktails, and before he knows it they’re on the dancefloor, jumping around vibing to We Found Love by Rihanna, which is typically the type of song Luke would expect form a place like this. Luke can’t keep his hands off of Calum and can’t believe his luck that they are here together, that he gets to touch him up in a club and not get any strange looks. Calum’s smile doesn’t fade for a second, laugh lines on the side of his eyes and an alcohol blush on his cheeks.

‘how do you keep managing to get into clubs?’ Calum says later, grinning at Luke as they stroll down the dimly lit street along the canal. They are holding hands, breathing in the fresh mid-night air.

‘it’s France, no-one cares.’ Luke giggles. ‘Kids drink wine at breakfast!’

Calum laughs as they basically skip down the street, full of life. Luke feels so giddy.

They laugh and joke and shove each other, and Calum ends up giving Luke a piggy-back ride all the way back to the hotel while Luke screams out the lyrics to Viva La Vida.


	6. emmène-moi avec toi

Paris goes by so fast Calum can barely keep up. It’s a blur of landmarks, museums, amazing food and lazy afternoons. On their last night Calum even tries escargot and finds that he doesn’t hate it. It was dark when they finally made their way back to the hotel. They said their goodnights to their parents and entered their own room, a quiet setting over them.

‘I’m gonna take a shower.’ Luke says softly before disappearing into the bathroom. Calum goes to open the balcony doors for some fresh air and lies down spread-eagle on their bed.

 _Their_ bed. The brunette smiles, thinking about how they spend every night curled up against each other. His smile turns into a smirk when he thinks about Luke’s body in-between his legs, his lips wrapped around him and his blue eyes innocently staring up at him.

Luke’s gonna be the death of him, he thinks.

That statement is once again confirmed when the blonde emerges from the bathroom. He is naked, a blush on his cheeks, his wet hair hanging over his forehead a bit. Calum sits up on the bed and Luke comes to him, sits himself down on Calum’s lap.

‘hi.’ He whispers.

‘hey.’ Calum whispers back, placing his hands on the blonde’s thighs. Luke starts to comb his fingers through Calum’s hair and the older boy relaxed into the touch. He is practically purring by the time Luke leans down and starts to leave kisses and bites along his neck.

‘you should be naked too.’ He mumbles and Calum just nods, falls onto his back and takes Luke down with him. They kiss, and Calum’s hands roam over Luke’s back, much more confident now than back in Étretat, or even back when they went camping.

Luke sit’s up on his lap and pulls off Calum’s shirt. The younger boy’s hands roam his chest before popping the button of his jeans and getting off of him so he can take them off too.

Calum turns them around, pushing Luke’s back onto the sheets and crawling in-between the blonde’s legs. He feels Luke’s dick pressed up against him and the boy under him moans softly. Calum starts leaving love-bites, angry red, all over Luke’s chest. The boy whines and pulls on Calum’s curls softly.

‘wanna suck you off.’ Calum mumbles against Luke’s chest.

‘please.’ Luke reacts, sounding a little out of breath. ‘you’re so good at that.’

It boosts Calum’s confidence enough for the brunette to pull down Luke’s boxers. He looks like a damn masterpiece, leaning back on his elbows, hair messy, pink lips wet and parted. Luke is always so smooth when they fall into bed, almost moves like a dancer, all soft angles and poses that he _knows_ make him look good yet looking so innocent while doing it.

‘this is perfect.’ Calum mumbles, stroking Luke’s parted thighs as he sits on his heels in-between them. ‘this is the only way you should get fucked. In a beautiful hotel in Paris.’

Calum doesn’t even know where the words come from and Luke blushes heavily.

‘then fuck me.’ The blonde answers, damn near sending Calum into cardiac arrest. He is silent for a second, the air in-between them electric.

Because holy shit, of course Calum had thought about it, but he was damn sure not just going to ask that, and now Luke all but demanded it.

‘are you sure?’ He asks then, quietly. Luke doesn’t even break eye-contact as he nods.

‘yeah.’ He breathes. ‘pretty sure.’

Calum swallows. ‘I don’t have condoms.’

‘got some in my bag.’ Luke answers, nodding to his duffel bag on the other side of the room. Calum just nods but doesn’t move, so Luke gets up and retrieves two condoms and a small bottle of lube from his bag.

‘can’t believe you brought that.’ Calum says, a grin on his face, trying to lighten the mood.

‘hey! I was going to Paris with a hot guy.’ Luke shoots back, blushing. He sets the items down on their nightstand and crawls back onto the bed.

‘can we go under the covers?’ The blonde whispers. Calum nods quickly and pulls the covers back, crawling under them next to Luke. The brunette is nervous now, but Luke pulls him in and they’re kissing again. It calms Calum’s nerves down. It’s just Luke. Luke is wonderful.

‘I only have like, a vague idea of what to do.’ Calum says softly after a while. Luke nods.

‘that’s okay. Just be gentle.’

‘yeah.’ Calum breathes out. ‘of course.’

Luke lays down on his back. Calum is right next to him, on his side, one arm under Luke’s head and the other moving down his body. He grabs a hold of the boy’s length and starts to stroke slowly, his hand a tight fist. Luke moans louder now, one hand fisting the sheets underneath him. After a while, Luke pulls up his legs and Calum gets the message.

His hand travels lower. Luke whimpers when Calum rubs over his hole and it encourages him, makes him want to hear even more desperate sounds fall off of the boy’s lips.

‘feels good?’ He says in Luke’s ear.

‘yeah.’ The boy whines. He extends an arm and grabs the bottle of lube to push it against Calum’s chest. The boy takes it, coats his fingers with the gel and rubs them together to warm them up a bit. He has Luke moaning and digging his nails into Calum’s shoulder when the boy pushes his first finger in.

‘f-fuck.’ Luke chokes out. He is blushing heavily and his pleading eyes are on Calum.

‘ok?’ Calum asks almost breathlessly. Luke nods fast and Calum decides to add another finger. The younger boy whines and frowns and Calum feels insecure.

‘does it hurt?’

‘not too much.’

‘I can stop?’

‘please don’t.’ Luke breathes out, stroking Calum’s chest slowly now. ‘wanna have you inside of me. Been thinking about it for days.’

‘jesus.’ Calum chokes out. His dick is hard and leaking on his lower stomach. He pushes his two fingers in and out, a little faster now, before curling them up and making Luke moan loudly.

‘shit! There, right there baby.’ He whines, throwing his head back. Calum groans too, shifting so that he’s on top of Luke now, the boy’s legs on either side of his hips.

‘can’t wait to feel you.’ He groans then, causing Luke to look up at him with clouded eyes.

‘fuck, you’re so hot.’ He says. ‘another?’

Calum nods and pulls his fingers out to come back with three. Luke breathes heavily when Calum scissors him open. The brunette starts to feel the burn in his thighs from holding himself up when Luke starts to nod.

‘I’m ready.’ He breathes out.

‘you sure?’ Calum says, nerves and excitement washing over him. Luke nods again. Calum swallows heavily, reaches for the condom and tears open the package. He almost lets it slip out of his hands when Luke mumbles ‘can I ride you?’

Calum doesn’t even know what to say and just nods stupidly as he rolls over onto his back. He puts on the condom and Luke comes to straddle him, the sheets heaping around his ass. Luke smiles a sweet smile as he strokes Calum a couple of times and the brunette can barely believe this boy’s confidence, his ease as he lifts himself up and positions Calum’s dick against his hole. Calum’s hands hold onto his waist tightly as the blonde lets out a delicious whine when he breaks past the rim.

‘oh fuck.’ Luke chokes out, followed by another broken moan. Calum isn’t much better himself, panting and moaning at how slow the blonde lowers himself.

When Luke’s hips still on his own, the boy’s nails make angry red half-moons on Calum’s chest and his mouth is hanging open.

‘ok?’ Calum offers weakly. He is already fighting his release and they haven’t even properly started yet. But the idea of them being so close for the first time refs his engine like nothing else ever has.

‘hurts a bit.’ Luke whispers.

‘I’m sorry. I know it’s selfish but you feel really fucking good.’ Calum breathes out. ‘So tight.’

Luke whines at his words and pulls off a little before lowering himself down again. They both moan at the friction.

‘can’t believe you’re _inside_ of me.’ Luke says softly.

‘yeah.’ Calum answers weakly. And then Luke starts properly pulling himself off and coming back down. Calum’s fingers push into his hips as Luke moans, making these beautiful little a _h ah ah_ ’s as he bounces on Calum’s hips.

Calum tries an experimental thrust up when Luke comes down and it sends a shock through the blonde’s whole body.

‘yes!’ He moans, hands flat on Calum’s chest now for better grip. Calum gets the message and starts thrusting up in time with Luke, sending the boy into ecstasy. Luke slams himself down harder, frowning with his mouth hanging open, obscene noises coming out that make Calum’s cheeks flush and his dick hard as oak wood.

‘fucking hell.’ He chokes out. ‘Luke baby I won’t last.’

Luke just nods and grabs one of Calum’s hands on his hip to move to his dick. Calum nods and starts jerking him fast.

‘Ah! Cal, feels so good… Fuck baby, I am so in love with you.’ Luke whines and it sends Calum straight over the edge, squeezing Luke almost too tight as he comes into the condom, groaning and assuring Luke ‘m in love with you too, baby, so perfect, so good for me…’

Luke comes almost straight after him, come shooting up to his chest with the force of it, a silent moan on his parted lips. He shakes in the aftershock and falls onto Calum’s body, moaning loudly. The brunette places his hand under Luke’s hip and pushes him up until they disconnect, a soft whine coming from Luke.

Luke rolls off of him a few seconds later, and Calum get’s up to discard of the condom. When he walks back to the bed, Luke is spread out over it, one hand on his chest, the other on his thigh.

‘I am so sore.’ He says softly, smiling up at Calum as though the boy had hung the stars up in the sky just for the blonde. It makes Calum blush.

‘was it good?’

‘so good.’ Luke says, nodding. He makes grabby-hands at Calum and the boy crawls back onto the bed, under the sheets with Luke crawling onto his chest.

‘I really am very much in love with you.’ Calum says then. Luke looks up at him and strokes his chest.

‘I am really in love with you too.’ He answers.

And they are quiet as they both asses what that means, giving it being pretty much the last few days of their time together.

\---

Calum finds it hard not to touch Luke after that. Now that they’ve shared their first time with each other, he wants to be in proximity of the boy at all times. Hold his hand, put his arm around his shoulder, all that.

But he is technically not out and the whole idea of doing that now makes his head swim. And so the whole ride back to Étretat, he stays on one side of the car and Luke stays on the other.

So when they get home they excuse themselves to Luke’s room, muttering that they’re just gonna play video games for the rest of the day, and they end up actually doing that but on Luke’s bed with the blonde boy sitting in-between Calum’s legs, his back pressed to the brunette’s chest.

\---

The last few days go by so fast Luke can’t help but feel like someone is stepping on his chest the whole time. They spend the last day at the beach with Michael and Ashton, and Luke is quite happy they will be leaving back to Germany only two days after Calum and his family leave, because the idea of having to sleep alone in that bed he shared with Calum for three weeks makes him feel lonelier than he’s ever been.

‘you had a nice summer?’ Michael startles Luke. They’re off to the side, leaning against the stone wall of the cliff that holds a special place in Luke’s mind. The English boy sits down next to him, pulling his knees in.

‘yeah.’ Luke breathes out. It takes everything in him not to cry. Michael feels it immediately and wraps and arm around the blonde’s shoulder.

‘I think you should just talk to him. See where his head is at.’

And of course Michael had noticed, Luke has known him for so long and the boy is ridiculously emotionally intelligent.

‘I don’t know if it’ll do any good.’ Luke says softly. In the distance, Calum is playing catch with Ashton by the shore.

‘you never know Lukey.’ Michael says, squeezing his shoulder. ‘you finish high school soon, then you can go where-ever you want. Imagine if you guys stick it out? Within a year you could be in the same country, maybe even in the same uni. Think about it. I think it’s worth a try.’

Luke smiles at Michael and leans his head against the boy’s chest.

‘thanks, Mike.’ He says softly.

\---

It’s heart-breaking, watching Calum load suitcases into the back of a taxi. His parents are saying their goodbye’s to Luke’s, all tearful and loving.

Luke and Calum hadn’t talked much. Luke didn’t know how to start the conversation and Calum had seemed too nervous to bring it up either. So the brunette had just held Luke extra close in the last few nights, had whispered extra sweet things into his ears as he held the blonde down and fucked him into the mattress.

But the nerves building up to the moment of saying goodbye are never as bad as the ones when it actually happens. It’s like your brain refuses to believe that something bad is about to happen and pushes it away so you won’t feel the urgency right up until you absolutely _have to_.

Calum walks towards Luke and it makes him feel sick. The boy smells so familiar when he wraps his arms around the blonde, staying there for much longer than is normal for a friendship but fuck it, as if Calum doesn’t mean much more to him than just a friend.

‘I will miss you so much.’ Luke breathes into Calum’s chest. The brunette boy squeezes him tighter.

‘me too.’ He whispers back.

They break away and Luke has to watch Calum step into the taxi with his parents. His chest hurts and he can’t stop the tears from falling down his cheeks if he tried.

‘Luke, darling?’

The soft voice of his mother causes him to break down as the taxi pulls out of their driveway.


	7. vis ta vie

**Three months later**

‘baby! I’ve missed you.’ Luke hears Calum say on the other end of the phone. It’s 5:30am and Luke is walking down the quiet streets of Berlin on his way to his local coffee shop for his opening shift. It’s fall and the air is chilly early in the morning. The time-difference with Sydney makes these moments perfect for a chat. They try to call every day, which they have kept up for the past three months.

Quite soon after Calum left, Luke’s parents carefully confronted him about his behaviour with the older boy and he pretty much confessed everything. It was quite funny when Calum called him a few days later to tell him his mum had pretty much figured it out too.

‘we just spoke yesterday.’ Luke giggles. And they didn’t just speak either; he can remember the exact noises Calum made as Luke whispered all kinds of dirty promises into his phone.

‘you rocked my world, as per usual. Now I’m needy.’ Calum answers and it makes Luke laugh.

‘how’s your day been?’ The blonde asks.

‘well, I wanted to talk to you about something.’ Calum says. His voice gets more serious now and Luke immediately feels a bit nervous.

‘yeah?’

‘it’s about university.’

‘oh.’

Luke knows Calum is meant to be starting uni soon. Luke is graduating about 5 months and is yet to decide what he wants to do after that.

‘so I got a letter from the Melbourne University. And it was a really amazing feeling.’

‘I can imagine.’ Luke says, smiling despite himself. However he may feel, Calum getting good news will always make him happy. ‘I had no doubts you would get in. My smart man.’

‘oh stop.’ Calum giggles. ‘but I was thinking right, and I thought, oh wow, Melbourne. I’ve never even been. Isn’t that weird?’

Luke giggles. ‘A bit. It’s your own damn country.’

Calum laughs at that. ‘it’s yours too!’ he says. ‘and you’ve never seen it either, right?’

‘no, never been to Melbourne.’

‘well.’ Calum says then. Luke can almost hear the smile in his voice. ‘wanna come see it?’

‘you mean as in, apply there?’ Luke says, his eyebrows raised.

‘not exactly.’ Calum says. ‘as in, I tell them I’ll accept their offer for next year and you come here and we go see Australia. All of it. Together in a jeep or something.’

Luke doesn’t know what to say at first, and his silence makes Calum say, ‘you can think about it.’

‘yeah, no, I mean, yes. I want to. That would be amazing. But uni, Cal. Are you sure you can get back in next year? Are you sure you wanna put your life on hold for me?’

‘oh baby.’ Calum says. ‘I don’t consider that putting my life on hold. Not at all. Are you crazy? I wanna be with you! We’ve been apart far too long now.’

‘really?’ Luke breathes. ‘are you sure?’

‘of course.’ Calum answers, his voice steady. ‘sure, the environment in which we met was pretty perfect for falling in love. But my feelings haven’t changed. I wouldn’t be in this if I, deep down, didn’t think that I might actually marry you some day.’

And Luke has to stop walking and has to touch the lantern next to him to make sure that, yes, this is in fact still real life. He is smiling uncontrollably at the idea of him and Calum tracking around Australia together. He looks up at the sky that is slowly turning from dark to a light blue.

‘I guess I’ll start saving then.’

_I've never written something this long. Hope u guys enjoyed it! Thank you for the sweet comments along the way._


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